When Your Life Is Falling Apart

I have written of approaches that you can take, whenever you find challenges that you are not able to overcome easily. It led you to Positive Attitude Success Pyramid^© and also Phoenix Path^© respectively. However, I am aware that quite a lot of people are not able to pick themselves up and move on when things are falling apart in their life. Situations may vary for each of them. Some are dwelling with the lost of their loved ones, whilst others are trying to comprehend their breakups from a long-term relationship.

When you are pining for something that is no longer there, you are also dwelling in a loop-of time, that repeats in your mind, trying to process what had taken place. Your thoughts are like a Pandora-box. When you rummage your thoughts, it will be safe and sound for you to pursue your basic curiosity. However, when you look into the same area with extreme clutter, that keeps junking up your clear thoughts, it will begin to cause a lot of problems with you; especially your self-recovery.

Make the best of what you have, when you have it.
This is your treasure of life.
Maximus @ MaximusPrimo.com

One basic nature of people who are experiencing continuous challenges in their life is ‘being idle’. They remain in the same loop, keep ranting about what they did, why they did it and how the outcome is not per their expectation. If you had visualized anything, let the visualization be something productive in nature. If you met someone, fell head of heals over them, but they did not reciprocate, you begin to plan out many different approaches to convince them that your love is one of a kind. Within a short while, you begin to move from someone who is having infatuation, to someone easily recognized as a stalker.

You turn up at every possible place, where this person of interest goes about in their life. You try to have a conversation, even when they say, “ Please, leave me alone, I am not interested in a relationship ”. You begin to feel frustrated, asking what is wrong with you, that the person cannot see your ‘sincere affection’ for them. In reality, you are on the brim of insanity. You are not in control of your mind and body, your thoughts and emotions. You are an obsessive person, who keeps justifying to yourself, that everything you are doing, is right. When anything does go wrong, you cannot digest it, and start retaliating. You need help!

Nothing is actually in your possession, as all that you see
and experience is just a temporary moment.
Maximus @ MaximusPrimo.com

A famous singer, Sting, sang this lovely song, ‘If You Love Somebody, Set Them Free‘. This, is a universal advice. Making the best of what you have, when you have it, makes your life experiences much more worth the while, as you are always open to the life journey. Yes, you may find someone, at some point of time, calling the person your life partner, wife, husband or just my buddy.

Any one of these identity remains as you see it, because you were taught at a very early age, that ‘your match is made in Heaven!’. This heavenly assignment in your life, seems a direction of intent, you wish to pursue, believing the reality of this is really true. What if, I say that, it is just a wishful thinking, and in reality, what you make of yourself in the relationship, makes that conjugal path, as how you experience it. It takes two to make any mutual relationship to work. It is the Rule of Relationship Elasticity, and I am not taking about financial calculation by this rule.

You are familiar when someone says ‘Give and Take’. There are some tolerances, in fact, relationships last longer due to high tolerance between both partners. They could look in the eyes of everyone around them as the ideal couple. But in reality, they manage to stay tolerant, sustaining a high degree of patience, cohabiting with acceptable living space between each other and share their common values at their very best.

Everyone may have values within them that keeps changing over time, as they have experienced the external influences in their lives too. Friends, colleagues, mutual admiration for some people you look up to and more. There might even be a possibility, at some point of your life, you have a high degree of sensual awakening that overwhelms you. This does not mean you are going to be a deviant, or predator. You are just starting to realize that your mind and body is awakening many different senses, that you were not aware before.

Here is my advice. Ask yourself, who you actually want to be, even in such state of mind. Now, visualize that, and when you take your time to meditate on yourself. You will find a new freedom, slowly, from within.

We cannot always seem to wake up from a severe setback, without the help and support of someone you can trust, to share your feelings and thoughts. I hope you have such opportunities to do so. It will be greatly helpful, even if it means, you just meet up over a cup of coffee and a lovely cake that you can indulge in that moment. Now, don’t go around saying that you are feeling depressed, and start to consume food excessively and being overweight. Your health and well-being is crucial, and do not convince yourself otherwise. Being physically and mentally fit, is a productive approach to your success in overcoming your downfalls.

Look, relationship is there while it lasts. If you met someone, you got married to the person, and lived until the end of your lifetime; that’s brilliant. However, if things did not work out between both of you, and you cannot find amicability to live together anymore, then you will need to carry on with your life, as much as you wish your former partner to do the same. Although in many cases, this is not a simple outcome, when custody battle, wealth and alimony starts entwining in the battle-plan.

Amicability is not an easy route in a break-up. When you came into to the relationship, you had a million valid reasons to do so. Just take at least three valid reasons, from those millions that you had fantasized before, to be an amicable settlement for both of you. Then, you can carry on with your individual lives, in peace and harmony. You can, if you absolutely want to do it. Being adamant, is only going to hurt you more, and this is never going to be helpful in any of your future endeavors.