When Positivity can be Toxic?

In my previous blogs and guides to Positive Attitude Success Pyramid^©, I have provided you a balanced approach in being positive. It is not a forced attempt to yourself to be something that you are not. It is a journey that leads you there, once you are ready for it. You need to progress, stage by stage, at which, you will understand and comprehend, why you will need to overcome the barriers that you come across.

If you are afraid of height, for example, it does not mean that to be mentally positive, you now need to sign up for a sky diving course and take you first jump off the airplane. If you are afraid of spiders, you do not need to put your hand in a box with a tarantula in it. Some people are very comfortable climbing up the steel structure of a construction building, half a kilometer in height and sitting on the edge of the beam having their breakfast.

Others, having creepy crawlies, snakes or crocodiles as pets roaming around their house. None of this makes you any lesser of a person by having your fear and discomfort displayed. Some people are able to overcome their negativity when the root-cause of their fear was addressed. Do not come to the conclusion, that by overcoming these types of fears, you are being positive in attitude. It is not! The is a difference and you should come to realize this.

You personally may have undergone a terrible trauma in your life. Perhaps a bad accident whilst you were driving your car, or a passenger in a plane when it suddenly dropped a few thousand feet due to flight complications. Both incidents can be very traumatizing. In many cases, it would trigger lack of confidence in you because of the prevalent fear, that is overwhelming. Addressing the root cause of your fear; if it is death, being injured again, or losing your family, can be very challenging indeed.

The journey to regain your confidence, is a courageous path, that will lead to your inner-self in recognizing that some, but not all, of your fears, may just be a temporary consequence of your experience. Once you are able to overcome these traumatic fears that you did not have before, you can take the next step to build your foundation to which you wish to pursue. You are, after all constructing a balanced mind and body relationship within yourself.

Having a balanced ability is tactful and fruitful as well,
but it is not a compulsive requirement.
Maximus @ MaximusPrimo.com

Let’s say that you have great admiration of pilots flying airplanes. Your admiration is not compulsion for you to go and take up a flying course and get certified as a pilot. You take your travel flights when needed, with the fundamental trust that the pilot and the plane are in good status for comfortable and safe journey.

Half way through the flight, the pilot comes across heavy turbulence, plane judder for a good fifteen minutes and suddenly, it becomes quiet and comfortable again. Basically, everyone on the plane, including the cabin crew sigh of relief. A short while later, it is back to comfortable scenario on the plane, food being served, people chatting around and some just deep dives into a good nap.

You see, the situation shown on the flight is something beyond your control. What happened was at the spur of the moment and a while later, it just dissipates away. Similarly, if you look into negative incidents that took place in your life, learn to dissipate them away as well once you have confronted them.

Providing a fortress for your experiences, in reality, is not going to guard you from future events, and fearing the same, is pointless. Comprehending that as part of your living experience, a journey that you are travelling with your mind and body, is the reality.

Your possible laid-back attitude may change to pursue your delayed intend to study part time and get a degree, so that you can upscale your job designation for better salary. Perhaps you may decide to venture out, starting your own business. You realized, with the birth of your child, you got the needed boost to your courage, that had been passive for many other delayed reasons before. You suddenly find that all the dilly-dally to your daily tasks, had suddenly found its purpose. Was the trigger, your child, yourself or your realization? I will let you answer this question.

You can only move forward, when you are able to help yourself overcome anger, guilt, regressive behaviors and problems that you face.
Maximus @ MaximusPrimo.com

Your key learning is to recognize the root-cause. Being someone with an engineering background, my mind lights up quickly whenever an issue is brought forward to my attention. Like with open arms ready to embrace the issue, I ask myself first, “ What is the root-cause? “. I do not jump immediately to resolve any issues without establishing the root-cause understanding. If I can resolve the issue from where it started, it will help me overcome it instead of doing a superficial job to my given tasks.

Now don’t comprehend this example in error. If there is a fire-alarm currently triggered, the first path taken is to evacuate the building quickly. The team responsible for fire-safety management can quickly address if the location, where the possible fire is sighted, can be contained with basic fire fighting skills. You are not going to immediately call for a management meeting, in middle of such chaos and run a root-cause analysis, are you? If you see the comparative scenario I have shown, you will be able to understand what you will need to do, when you need to do and how you need to address it.

A task is only as difficult as you see it, before you know it and understand the reality of what is needed out of you. The ability to undertake the task, requires your confidence, derived from your courage.

So, if you are pursuing the direction to have a better Positive Attitude, you will need to establish a clearer mindset. Do not push yourself with false expectations, but drive yourself with established motivations from each level of your accomplishments.

As I said, you do not need to keep a tarantula to overcome your fear of spiders. You just need to know that the fear of spiders does not hamper you from not opening the door of your house, and taking a walk to the park on a lovely day. Avoid suppressing your feelings, especially your anger or frustration. It will burst up someday, somehow.