Have you heard someone saying that they are finding happiness? Some seek companionship, whilst others seek solace in being by themselves. The true identity of happiness can be visualized when it does not matter to you anymore. Sounds drastic, does it? When you do not believe happiness is the center of your well-being, you will find that it does not carry the weight that was burdening you for a long time. Positive Mental Attitude plays a prominent role here, if you are able to work with it well.
Let me show you an example. Look up the sky and see the clouds. If it is favorable in your region, a nice grouping of cumulus nimbus cloud and the wind will paint continuous artworks, as you relate to it. You probably be seeing a face, some animal forms, eyes and probably someone you may know. Any one of these visuals seen on the sky pallet is actually the image your mind interrelates with a ‘stored’ database. If someone else sees an image they relate to and asks you to see, you might or might not be able to visualize it, unless the person describes what they are seeing at that moment.
An image portrayed in the mind of someone else may not be the same as yours, in fact it differs originally. If both of you are seeing a picture of an image, for example a photo, then you may be seeing the same. So, the happiness you seek from the images, you may have portrayed from what you have been seeing, may not be the actual happiness that you may achieve. Both carry a burden of pursuance, to something that may only be partially fulfilled, but may not give you totally what you want, especially over time.
At every stage of your life experiences, you need to be contented.
Maximus @ MaximusPrimo.com
What then? How are you to seek happiness when it does not matter anymore. Contentment; that’s how. When you begin to realize, that the smallest achievements, can make you feel better about yourself, you will find that happiness to evolve. You may seek a life companion, but there is no certainty that you will be living together, married at some point of time and continuously be happy throughout your marital lifetime. Breakpoints occurs due to disparity, anger and misunderstanding.
What you saw in the initial part of your relationship did not show after a certain period of time, as you live under the same roof. In order to save your marriage, probably because you have children by that time, you go for marriage counselling. If it worked for both of you, then all well and fine. If it did not, and you cannot find an amicable and comprehensible solution for mutual contentment, you go separate ways. That’s the reality. As much as you wanted to pursue with the happiness that you initially found, it some how drained itself away, due to all the situational circumstances that was put forward in your life journey.
This is why I said, when it does not matter anymore, the reasons to your breakpoint, anger and misunderstanding will not longer carry any burden to your emotions. You will not play back your justifications, like a video loop, re-image your mind with what had happened. Look, I am not saying that all issues are solvable, especially when personal relationships are concerned. Each and everyone had their own pursuance in their life journey, and when they came together, the intent was to share this with each other.
Somewhere down the road, like the alignment of a car tire going off-lined, so does your relationship. If you were consciously aware of it from the beginning, you had the possibility to correct the alignment. Perhaps the wear and tear that took place in your relationship, can still surely be an opportunity to make better as time goes by. In reality, you cannot put too much high hopes, that all will be back to be as good as you had in the initial stage. The image you have painted in your mind is not going to render the same over time.
You need an adaptable image, that provides malleable changes.
Maximus @ MaximusPrimo.com
If you were impatient, then you learn to become a better person who gives reasonable time to resolve a pertaining issue. However, if you had lost your way throughout the relationship, finding your way back is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Put a pause to it, be reasonable to yourself and your partner. If the reality presents itself, that nothing is going to work anymore, then you have two simple choices. Part your ways or stay together. Any one of these options, will have its own outcome.
I do not need to explain further, as you are aware of the reality of the situations you are in, except that you do not want to face it, in fear of the outcome. How long should the suffering go on, when mutual comprehensibility in the relationship is no longer there? That’s my question.
When happiness, as form of general excitement within your own feeling and your companion, it becomes a natural effort without pursuance. Wine and dine is all fine, but it’s an occasional event. When you miss doing this, you feel that you have lost something that you had enjoyed. So, why did you stop doing it? Similarly, there may be things that you both do together that brought happiness when you were sharing with each other. Over time being together, these small moments went away due to your negligence and partial blaming of your added routines in your lifestyle.
Of course, blame will be directed to workload, lack of time, less financial resources or just feeling tired. If you don’t motivate yourself throughout your life journey, how will you be able to motivate your partner? What becomes more painful are the silent moments that keeps on hampering your relationship on a daily basis. By the time you realize it, years would have passed by. You now are not in contentment, but in agreement with yourself to say, “ let’s just not rock the boat “.
I want to tell you that there is still hope to gain your happiness, as long as you are able to visualize that it does not matter anymore. Then, you will begin to see, just like seeing the clouds and the image changes time to time, the smile on your face will not be erased easily by any distractions. You will slowly learn that being contented is also your happiness, to keep you going the next day.
Looking for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, is Happiness.
Maximus @ MaximusPrimo.com
Looking at the beautiful colors of the rainbow across the sky, is Contentment.
