Positively Selfish

There is a strong relationship between ignorance and selfishness. It depends on the intensity of anyone, to which, an overwhelming nature of increased behavior will anyhow be more damaging than beneficial to oneself. Not surprisingly, a lot of accomplished people, known to be very selfish and in fact, eccentric too. The sixty-four thousand dollar question is, how can we be positively selfish yet not to a level to create extreme discomfort to others? There is an obvious difference between ‘extreme discomfort’ to ‘just discomfort’, to which the following quote will explain.

When someone who is actually selfish for their own gain is denied the opportunity to get what they want, the backlash has no holds barred. In such circumstances, you are having mixed feelings, don’t know what you should do. A large percentage of people will decide to give in, and fall into the web of trap weaved by such emotional harassment. You will be conjugated with their selfish intent, at the cost of your own discomfort and disappointments. You are of no help to others, when you even cannot help yourself!

It is not uncommon, when we are challenged to do the things that we are needed for others around us. Family, colleagues, friends and relatives are in your primary list. People may reach out to you, to resolve their issues, or for you to do something that you are actually not comfortable to carry on doing. When you say, ” Sorry, I am not able to help you “, it is an immediate trigger to backlash. You will be called a self-centered person, selfish, not considerate and even a fraud.

Remember that, you firstly, have to do what is best for you
and your well-being, not what is best for everybody else.
Maximus @ MaximusPrimo.com

Here is where being selfish for your own good becomes important. You cannot be pleasing everybody around you. If you cannot make a stand for yourself, you will never be able to do so anytime in the near future. Do not allow your weakness to say ‘No’, be an advantage for misuse by others. You are a kind and generous person, but that does not mean that you need to pay the bill every time you go out with your friends, just because you earn more than them.

A treat is a treat when it is an occasional event and you need to know the difference. Similarly, if you are deciding to pursue your tertiary education to fulfill your dream, then make sure you are able to focus on your direction well. Do not just go and say to your parents, “ I want to pursue this course, but I don’t know if there is a future for me “. You are not upselling your ideas, but just dug a hole for yourself. If you are not able to visualize what you are going to do, then how are you able to provide confidence to your financiers?

Take a break! A holiday where you can go and unwind by yourself without dragging the whole family. They can always go for another family holiday, but you will need to take that selfish move to find your personal importance as well. Do not give excuses that you are busy, will do it when the children are grown up or when you are retired. You are losing precious moments to find your self-preservation to a healthier mind and body. Give yourself some ‘me time’. You need to be selfish, because no one is going to easily push you to take a break. You have to decide by yourself, for your own good.

There is a common agreement that selfish people, are less prone to giving up their ideas and goals. This trait is seen in many people carrying forth their leadership role. However, their intensity of being selfish lures you into thinking, how selfish should I actually be? I would rephrase that to ask yourself, ” How positively selfish, should I be, to keep my focus and goals on track? “. You can find a reasonable balance in such act, being positively selfish. Learn to identify your feelings, to which I have written with detailed explanation in this blog, Do Good, Be Good.

Your contented happiness can also be attained by being positively selfish. Why contented happiness? Your pursuance to some form of happiness, will come to you, by identifying what you are actually seeking within yourself. At any level, you will begin to be contented with yourself. Knowing that by accepting each progressive step that you make, will bring forward another level of happiness.

As its own, deriving happiness is starting from a basic smile within yourself, elevating your level of satisfaction and progressing to your self-realization. This journey, will take place continuously within your lifetime, so just like when I spoke about the Ether element, the limit is without boundaries. It is you who decide, what is your happiness, as it finally derives to your contentment.